someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize