and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
