good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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