Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
this boner is exhausting
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
