addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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