You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize