somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
