This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
