what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
