Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just want to make out with him forever
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
