And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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