I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
