Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
