a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need to calm my uterus...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
