Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
