I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize