If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I want to be your penis for a week.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
