Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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