I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
