i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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