Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
another moral hangover. fuck.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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