Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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