Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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