I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
