Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
