Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
