What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize