if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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