We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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