omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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