You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wear drunk well.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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