My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
