Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize