Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
