He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
