i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I could fuck to npr.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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