Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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