JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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