what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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