He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
