It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
