we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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