am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
