walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
