I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
