i jhust puked up my retainher.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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