Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
