i think my mom watched the whole time
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
