You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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