College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
