guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
