just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
