I'm going to jail i love you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
