Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
