I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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